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IncitersLeadership

Teamwork: Managing Expectations and Personalities

Ted KouriAugust 29, 20243 min read
Lessons from My European Vacation

My recent, multi-week, extended family holiday to Europe made me reflect on the many nuances of managing diverse expectations, perspectives, and personalities. It also made me consider how similar it is to working within any organization and the realities of trying to bring a large group of people together.

I spent most of July in Europe, with my wife and two kids. But for much of our trip, we were a traveling party of 10. We were joined by my parents and my sister’s family as part of an overdue, COVID-delayed cycling holiday to celebrate my parent’s 50th wedding anniversary.

With kids ranging from 7 to 15 years old, a cycling-obsessed 78-year-old patriarch, and the deeply engrained stubborn gene commonly found in most Kouris, we successfully managed to navigate differing dietary constraints, personality styles, and activity preferences to enjoy a memorable family vacation.

How did we manage it? We looked at it like any team would.

Three Takeaways for Successful Teamwork
  • Non-negotiables and Clear Expectations
    Teams work best where there are outlined objectives and ground rules. You won’t be able to accomplish everything, so you need to be clear on what is mission-critical. In our case, cycling routes that accommodated our weakest riders, family dinners together and family-friendly accommodations were a few of our non-negotiables. Before the trip, we invested significant effort in aligning everyone on what was vital for success and what compromises would be necessary. By developing a shared vision in advance, we ensured everyone focused on a few common goals, preventing any conflicting expectations.
  • Someone Needs to Lead AND Everyone Needs to Follow
    Larger groups don’t function if everyone tries to lead at the same time. You can have different leaders for different tasks, but someone needs to step up and take charge when it’s their turn. As importantly, the rest of the group needs to acknowledge the leader and do their best to be a good follower, even if the leader hasn’t selected the course of action they would prefer. From selecting bike routes to preparing meals, different days called for different leaders and different followers. By recognizing the varied requirements of our roles at different times, we were able to make our way across the back roads of Europe effectively.
  • Accepting that 90% Happy is Good Enough
    On an extended family holiday, most people can be happy most of the time. However, if you try to make everyone 100% happy, all of the time, you’ll fail.  The same rings true for office culture, client relationships, or business partnerships. With a little bit of effort and collaboration, it isn’t difficult to get to a place where two people are both 90% happy with a proposed course of action. However, moving one person to 100% can sometimes result in the other person’s satisfaction dropping to 50% or less. It’s important to recognize those moments and acknowledge that maybe 90% is good enough for everyone involved. Getting 100% of what you want isn’t worth it, if it comes at the expense of others in the group being highly dissatisfied.

Our extended family holiday, first conceived 6-years ago, finally happened and with great success. Teamwork isn’t always easy, but by following a few best practices, making the odd compromise, and focusing on what matters most teams can find a way to align different personalities and expectations to achieve positive results.

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